So I've been out sick all day today, camped out in front of the widescreen TV in the living room with a blanket, a cup of hot tea, and a box of Kleenex. I turned on the television this morning, and, as is always true of cable television, I was able to find a channel that was running a James Bond movie marathon.
Now, I thought I had seen all the Bond movies, but the movies I saw today were not the Bond movies I remember. Not because of nostalgia or rose-tinted glasses or anything, but because I was hopped up on woozy-doozy antihistamines, and I watched them in a sort of half-awake stupor as I slipped in and out of consciousness.
It turns out Live and Let Die is not a good movie to watch in such a state. Lots of voodoo rituals with voodoo priests dancing and holding hissing, poisonous snakes out at hapless victims, spinny closeups of tarot cards showing "Death" and "The Lovers", and creepy voodoo heads glaring out at you from the jungle. And Jane Seymour as the tormented Solitaire, of course (against whom I remember having a giant crush when I saw the movie as a kid). And finally, the most surreal part, Sheriff J.W.Pepper - not a guy you want creeping into your semi-conscious nightmares. Trust me.
Needless to say, I hope I get well soon. I don't think I could take another day of surreal Bond mashups in my dreams. Of course, I realize that there are probably worse movies to watch in that state, such as The Cell, the Twin Peaks movie, or The Wizard of Oz (flying monkeys in bellhop uniforms - that's just wrong). What movies do you think would be bad to watch hopped up on cold medications?