Saturday, April 16, 2005

Parenting Perq: Be Less Scared in Horror Movies

When The Exorcist came out, it was deemed one of the scariest movies ever made. Of course, the scene everyone remembers is the improbable head-spin that little Regan does. That part didn't scare me - it was too far over the top. No matter how strong a hold ol' Pazuzu had on the little girl, she still had a spinal column.

But a close second to that scene is the pea-soup vomit scene. It grossed people out. Now that I'm a parent myself, I have to think that the parents in the audience were thinking, "Yeah, yeah, you got nothing on little Timmy." I've seen my boy launch a laminar-flow stream of puke several feet in the air which lands just off the tile and onto the carpet. What Linda Blair did was just a little hiccup in comparison.

And consider The Blob. Compared to changing a sick baby a few hours after he's eaten some green bean, sweet potato, and chicken baby food, the Blob is like a cuddly stuffed animal.

So there's a perquisite for you parents out there. After spending time in the trenches, you can go to horror movies and laugh at what makes other people squeamish.

(The pudding scene in Dead Alive still grosses me out, though. I hope my boy never does anything to inure me to that!)

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